- Three Times’ Beating Monster
- 人物:T唐僧S:孙悟空 E:猪八戒
- J:沙僧
- B:白骨精(何平) B1:B变成的村姑 B2:B变成的太婆B3:B变化成的老头
- T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?
- S: Bajie,map!
- E: (摸出,递给S)
- S: Look,boss (凑近T)………(T、S一齐转向E)
- T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!
- E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)
- T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
- E: But……
- T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?
- E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.
- S: Fat Pig!
- E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….
- S: You will what(凶相)?
- E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
- S: Hm!
- T:(轻咳)Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?
- E: You see , boss is hungry,too!
- T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
- J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..
- T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?
- S: No problem!(安装)(B已躲在一旁偷看)
- J: This is…..?
- S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
- T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!
- S: Bye!(走)
- T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》
- B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)
- B1: (接近三人,望着)Can I join you?
- J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.
- B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!
- T: Bomb?(打出)
- B1: Double King!
- T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
- S: (回来,看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)
- B1: (倒)Ah……
- T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!
- S: She is a monster!
- T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)
- S: Oh,please don’t……
- T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲,走音离谱)
- S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)
- T: (呛住,咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!
- B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)
- B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?
- T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑,B2想看后面是什么,T挡)
- S: (咬牙切齿)You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后,S打,不想打到T头,T晕,S再打死B2)
- E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)
- J: Look,(伸食指)how many?
- T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)
- B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)
- S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)
- T: (想阻止,未及)You,you.....(险些晕,E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!
- S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!
- T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!
- S: (悲,离去)(音乐,营造 “假”悲伤气氛)《人鬼情未了》
- J: boss, brother Monkey is.......
- T: Don't mention that guy any more!
- B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)
- T: (惊)You are......
- B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗,被击退)
- B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......
- S: (悄悄走到B后,打B,B晕)A thousand years later.
- T: Wukong?
- E: Oh,Brother Monkey!
- J: Our hero is back!
- T: I,I can't understand......What happened?
- S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!
- T: How,how did you find out?
- S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)
- T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)
- S: What?
- T: I'm sorry.
- S: Em? Louder,please?
- T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)(音乐响)《敢问路在何方》(这个放伴奏)
- (谢幕)
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