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- Wanderseveryfivemiles
- 焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)
- 焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
- 太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)
- Prologue
- (J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)
- J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy
- wifeisWuSong.
- (指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!
- (内砸出一脸盆,Ｊ接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?
- MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
- smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
- thanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
- (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)
- MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)
- Act1
- (序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)
- JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
- (对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
- L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum?
- JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland
- dearestmother-in-law”.
- L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?
- JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
- lazy……
- L:But……
- JM:Neverinterruptme!
- L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
- daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
- and……
- JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
- L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour
- son.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)
- Act2
- (LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)
- L:Mum,I’mback!
- LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?
- L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.
- LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon
- marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten
- tome.Lookatyourself……
- L:But,mum……
- LM:Neverinterruptme!
- L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?And
- I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.
- LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“Ifyoudaughter
- Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo
- andtellhim.(下)
- L(惊愕):What?Themayor’sson?Themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅
- 铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)
- Act3
- (J睡眼惺忪上)
- J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?
- (走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
- (突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.
- (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围
- 裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
- shehasgone.Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.
- JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet?
- J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!
- JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice
- girl,goandtakeherback!
- J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam!
- Act4
- (J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
- A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
- Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
- B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
- C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)
- AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!
- J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出１角硬币):Is1maoenough?
- (三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
- A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!
- B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
- C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoand
- robthewedding!
- A&B:Goodidea!
- J(惊讶):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpossible!
- AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
- J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!
- (突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo
- withyou.YoutakethemoneyandItakethebride.
- B:Haveyougotanyexperience?
- J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄１，０００，０００)
- Act5
- (转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
- (J和三强盗跃至台中)
- ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
- A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!
- B:AndIplantedonetree.
- C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
- J:Giveusallyourmoney!
- (L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)
- L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)
- (MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒)
- J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去）
- (J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS)
- (J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
- J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,howareyou?
- L(哭状):Ihurtalot!
- J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下)
- L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)
- (音乐起 CanYouCelebrate)
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